Press Conference

We join a press gang awaiting an "urgent" conference called by MON.

Press #1: I hear he's got a big message for the fans.

Press #2: Yeah, that's what I heard, what do you think? Big name signing?

Press #1: Yeah, it's gotta be .... My money's on Owen, or maybe that Defour bloke.

Press #3: He's probably just telling us who he's NOT signing ... Again.

*The press comes to a hush as smoke from a fog machine clouds behind the conference stage and Metallica's "Enter the Sandman plays*

Press #2: How exciting ... It's got to be a signing.

Press #1: Ssshhhhhh!

*MON, Isaiah Osbourne, Moustapha Salifou and John Robertson emerge from the smoke wearing matching claret and blue suits and take seats at the stage*

MON: Hello ladies and gentlemen, I've called you all here as I have an important announcment to make to the fans.

Press #2: Signing I'm telling you

Press #1: Ssshhhhhh!

*MON pulls out a sheet of paper and adjusts his glasses*

MON: Just have a little patience, I'm still hurting from a love I lost.

Press #2: Eh?

Press #1: Ssshhhhhh!

MON: I'm feeling your frustration. Any minute all the pain will stop.

Press #2: So is he unveiling a signing or ..

Press #1: Ssshhhhhh!

MON: Just hold me close inside your arms tonight, *Salifou wraps an arm around MON* don't be too hard on my emotions.

Osbourne, Salifou & JR: 'Cause IIIIIIIII!

MON: need

Osbourne, Salifou & JR: Tiiiiiiiiiiime

MON: My heart is numb, has no feeling, so while I'm still healing
Just

Osbourne, Salifou & JR: Trrrrrrrryyyy

MON: and have a little patience.

*The press gang scratch their heads*

Press #2: *claps solitarily* Yeaaaah, wooooooo !!!

MON: That is all, Thanks for coming.

*The Villa lads leave the stage whilst the press gang sit in stunned silence.*