"The Boss"

We Join MON tentatively approaching Randy Lerner's office, as he approaches Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" can be heard thumping from the stereo.

*MON knocks and opens the door*

Lerner: ...Imma cool rockin' daddy in the U.S.Aaaaheyhey, Born in the .... Oh hi Marty!

*Randy turns down the volume and takes the tie off his head*

Lerner: sit down, sit down. How can I help you?

MON: I .... er ... was wondering ..

Lerner: Spit it out Marty, remember time is money.

MON: Right, I was interested in Owen and ...

Lerner: Owen? Owen Wilson, are you sure? He's a little old, his younger brother Luke is probably in better shape and funnier have you seen "Old School"? Great movie

MON: I ... er ....no .... but ...

Lerner(on phone): ... Yeah Luke Wilson's agent, find out where I can....

MON: Boss I didn't mean Owen Wilson I meant ....

Lerner(hangs up): Sorry Marty, I'm "rushin' in there" again aren't I?

*Lerner punches MON in the shoulder, MON winces with pain smiling politely as his eyes well up*

MON: Yes. I mean no I ....

Lerner: I'm pretty sure Jesse Owens passed on a few years back, not sure he did soccer anyway.

MON: I meant Michael Owen.

Lerner: Who?

MON: Michael Owen used to play for England, he's at Newcastle...

Lerner: .... The crutches guy? (see Newcastle United part II)

MON: Yes boss.

Lerner: The one always trying to sell Nestle's Sporties, Lucozade and Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 to everybody?

MON: Yes boss.

Lerner: He actually plays soccer?

MON: Well he used to, I mean yeah he still does sometimes.

Lerner: This isn't another one of your projects of mercy is it Marty? We can't keep taking in strays.

MON (shuffling uncomfortably): No boss. Honest boss.

Lerner: What's that behind your back ... A kitten!?

MON: ... It followed me here boss, can we keep it?

Lerner: (sigh)