We join the "devastated" lads in the dressing room*
Milner: I cannae believe it man, we wun but we lost, it's bloon me mind like.
Davies: My shoulder hurts.
Heskey: I must say that was one of the finest games I've ever played.
Carew: What're you talking about!? I played better than you and I have a toe virus, the flu, the black plague, TB, tonsilitus, polio, rubella, diptheria and a chronic case of the hiccups. You didn't even score!
Davies: Hello? My shoulder hurts.
Heskey: Score!? Good heavens! Of course I didn't score, I'm a defensive midfielder my good man.
*the team in unison turn to Heskey*
Sidwell: You're a what now?
Heskey: Defensive Midfielder, y'know a "DM", battling it out in the middle of the park, venturing forward? Oooooh No, not for me.
*MON enters the dressing room, the players fall quiet*
Davies: My shoulder Hurts!
MON: Right lads, chins up. It's a good thing really, We're concentrating on the league anyway.
*Delfouneso raises his hand*
MON: Nathan?
Delfouneso: er.... Boss, what's the point of fighting to get to europe if we're not going to compete in europe?
MON: Oh Nathan, you little scamp, have you been playing the computer games?
Delfouneso: No boss, I don't play computers, mum says they dull the brain. I read books, are you familiar with the works of J.K.Rowling?
MON: Playing the little computer games where you're a little manager and you buy your nonsense foreign players cheap and win games in europe are you Nathan?
Delfouneso: No boss I just said, I read Harry Potter mainly but Artemis Fowl isn't too bad either and...
MON: ...and then you buy your "Jimmy McHagen" from Real Sociedad....
Delfouneso: Are you just deflecting from my question boss?
MON: Yes Nathan, yes I am.
Davies: Guys seriously, my shoulder really hurts.
MON: Anyway, like I was saying it's better really going out at this stage, now we can get good english players who have no interest in playing in europe.
Davies: Is everyone just ignoring me so I have to keep playing and there's no replacement? My shoulders killing me here.
MON: Has anyone seen Curtis, since the match?
*Davies waves his "good" hand in front of MON's face*
Davies: Hello? Hello!?!
.... Davies' hectic interviewing schedule continues ...
SKY Sports News
SSN Interviewer: So Curtis, it must've been a completely devastating blow to go crashing out of europe?
Davies: Well obviously by the extreme negative words you used in the question there it wasn't great. Also I'd like to add my shoulder hurts.
The Chris Moyles Show.
Moyles: So listen to much radio Curtis?
Davies: Yeah, I listen to alot of 1Xtra really, I'm a big fan of this show too though.
Moyles: Yeah, I'll bet, trying to butter us up...
Davies: Seriously I'm a massive fan, I love Dom, Carrie, the whole gang. I'll tell you what though, my shoulder doesn't half hurt.
Tonight with Jonathan Ross.
Ross: Hewo there and welcome to tonight with Jonathan Woss!
*crowd applauds*
Ross: We've got a wight tweat for you tonight ladies and gents, we've got Woger Moore!
*camera pans to Roger Moore*
Moore: Hi!
*crowd applauds*
Ross: We've got 80's legend Woland Wat!
*camera pans to Roland Rat*
Roland Rat: Hello Rat fans!
*crowd applauds*
Ross: and we've got Aston Villa star Curtis Davies!
*camera pans to Curtis Davies*
Davies: My shoulder hurts!
*The crowd erupts with laughter*
Davies: Seriously, I'm dying here
*The crowd erupts with laughter*
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