*We join a deflated team post Wigan match*
Young: I .... I don't understand, I ran at them .... but they didn't part .... They .... They tackled me!?
Carew (rubbing his sore foot): It's OK Ashley, it happens to the best of us.
Young: Not me! I'm Ashley Young!
Shorey (shaking): It .... it was terrible, they were all over me. The horror, The absolute HORROR!
*NRC slaps Nicky with his UNBANDAGED hand*
NRC: Get a grip man, get a hold of yourself!
Shorey: But I'm so shakey
NRC: Where's Carlos?
Shorey: I think he's still on the pitch, contemplating on whether to put a tackle in or not
NRC: But the match finished an our ago!
*MON enters the dressing room, it falls to a deathly silence*
MON: Once again you've all let me down.
*the heads in the dressing room bow*
MON: Except you Stilyan and of course you Emile.
*Heskey and Petrov sport wide grins*
MON: Where's Fabian?
Osbourne: he was told the dressing room's haunted, he's too scared to come in.
MON: What idiot said that!?! Was it you Isaiah? So help me you'll never play for this club again if...
Osbourne: It was Stilyan boss!
MON: Oh .... Well in that case what a cracking joke Stilyan, you're hilarious.
Petrov: Thanks boss.
MON: Now where's Moustapha with my drink.
*Salifou come huffing into the dressing room*
Salifou: I have bad news boss...there's no Diet Coke.
MON: WHAT!?!? This is a nightmare! And don't think I don't know yours and Isaiah's voices are hoarse from singing "John Carew, Carew"!
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