Watch Out ....

- In an earlier article on 606 it was said that Curtis Davies tries to be Rio Ferdinand, I wonder how far he will go .....

Davies: Wassup! It's me ya boy Curtis today we iz gonna smash up Salifou's car aiii!

*cuts to a scene*

Salifou: My car! My beautiful car! I only had two payments left!

*Cuts back to Davies*

Davies: Also we iz gonna merk Zat by messing up his mind

*cuts to a scene*

Knight: Yippee, stuff you flat caps!

*Cuts back to Davies*

Davies: And we iz gonna see how NRC reacts when aliens invade, ya get me though?

*cuts to a scene*

NRC (quivering and standing on a chair): Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God.

*Cuts back to Davies*

Davies: First off we gonna merk my main man, Moustapha Salifou. He be drivin' a P Reg Vauxhall Tigra, his pride and joy.

*Davies points to a screen as the camera zooms in*

*Salifou & Osbourne walk to the car park in time to see Salifou's car dropped from 30 ft in the air by a crane*

Salifou: Oh ((BLEEP!)), that's Betsy! ((BLEEP!))

Osbourne: So can I still get a lift or what? My mum's cooking shepherd's pie tonight I can't wait to ...

Salifou (holding back tears): Nevermind ((BLEEP!)) Sherperd's pie! Look at my ((BLEEP!)) car!

*Salifou crawls on his knees to a twisted and smashed "Betsy"*

Salifou: My car! My beautiful car! I only had two payments left!

Osbourne (now eating a pack of Wotsits from his training bag): Seriously though you can still get me home, yeah?

Salifou (now sobbing like a baby): Why God!?!?! Whyyyyyyyy !?!?

*Davies emerges from the crane wearing dungarees and a train drivers hat removing a fake moustache*

Salifou (pointing at Davies wiping tears and beginning to smile): You ((BLEEP!)) You had me fooled you ((BLEEP!))

Davies: Ha Ha! You been merked boyee!!

Salifou: So Betsy's OK right? This is just some other car yeah?

Davis: Hell no, what you take me for Rio or somethin'?

Salifou: What!?!

Osbourne: Curtis can you give me a lift home, it's sherperd's pie tonight.

*We return to the studio where Curtis Davies is laughing heartily to himself*

Davies: That Sali, he was so merked. Anyway back to business. Next we got my old homeboy Zat Knight in a bit of trouble when we phoned him at training

*Davies points to a screen as the camera zooms in*

Davies (on phone): Safe Zat! It's Davies, what's up?

Knight: Listen Kevin, I won't be bullied by you any more I don't care what you....

Davies: er.... It's Curtis.

Knight:Oh .... Oh right. Hi Curtis. I tell you what it's great to have joined Bolton, they're a team going places, with a great history and a great manager.

Davies: It's OK Zat you don't need to lie to me, tell it how it is.

Knight: It's awful (starts sobbing) They all smell of tea and pipe-smoke, all they talk about is whippet racing and coronation street, they don't eat vegetables and they can't play football!!

*Knight sobs for two minutes on the phone*

Davies (stifling laughter): Well what would you say if I told you it was all a joke for my TV show and you're still a Villa player.

Knight: Really? Have I been merked?

Davies: Yeah

Knight: Yippee, stuff you flat caps!

*Davies can still hear Zat though he's lowered his phone*

Knight: Kevin! Hey Kevin, yeah you Kevin Davies. Your a ((BLEEP!))((BLEEP!)) and Megson you're a proper ginger ((BLEEP!)). I'm out of here peace out you ((BLEEP!))

Davies: Zat ..... Zat ...... Zat!

*Knight raises the phone to his ear*

Knight: Yeah?

Davies: You weren't really merked, you have been now though.

Knight: Oh ((BLEEP!))