Interested?

*MON is wrapping up his press conference*

MON: Right that's the Delph thing sorted, any questions? Each journalist will be escorted out after I have answered the single question they are allowed.

Journo #1: Like Wesley do you?

MON: Wesley Snipes? Yes I'm a big fan of his "Blade 2" in particular I'd say my overall favourite is "White Men Can't Jump" though, it's a classic, I'd go so far as to say that....

Journo #2: No, no he means Sneijder.

MON: Rob Schneider? Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigalo? Brilliant, though I would have to say that my favourite film with him in is Waterboy, I mean he only has a bit part in that but I must say....

Journo #3: Why are you deflecting the question Martin? Are....

MON: That's an odd question, what a waste of your question, am I deflecting questions? Perhaps, or maybe not but let me tell you about the fruit fly, did you know that fruit flies have got ....

....later....

*two reporters stand left at the conference.*

MON: .... and that is why orange smarties taste different to the rest.

*Journo #53 is escorted toward door*

Journo #53(to security): Get your hands off me! That wasn't my question Martin. That wasn't my question!

*Journo #53 is bundled out of the door*

Journo #54 (speaking at accelerated pace to beat MON's deflection tactics): Are you interested in Wesley Sneijder as a footballer to sign for your club, Aston Villa?

MON: Hmm, good question I'd like to....

*Harry Redknapp barges into the press conference and grabs one of MON's microphones*

Redknapp: I like the lad. I think he's triffic'!