Hijack!

*We join a buoyant Steve Bruce and eager Darren Bent "in talks" in Steve Bruce office*

Bruce: Soor lad, like I was sayin, if yas come to Sunderland like, yas could be as big as tha Poominator man.

Bent: Wow, Mart Poom, really? You think so? Right where do I sign?

*Bruce with a huge grin slides a contract towards Darren Bent at which point a scream can be heard increasing in volume with Bruce and Bent turning to the window in time to witness two boots heading towards it with a glass shattering smash*

Bruce: What in tha world man!?

*A short balaclava donned man wearing a tracksuit with the number 31 emblazoned on the jacket strides forward the sun glinting from his spectacles*

Bruce: Could ya not have just knocked like?

*the door knocks, Bruce answers. A man wearing a balaclava barges past Bruce into the office*

Bruce (Nervously): So .... Martin, Isaiah hows can I help ya like?

Osbourne: How did you know it was us?

Bruce: Well you're wearing a full Villa Kit with "Osbourne" on the back for a start like.

MON: What have I told you about that tracksuit jacket Isaiah!?

Osbourne: sorry boss.

MON: We've come for Bent.

Bent: Hurray!

*MON and Osbourne link arms with Bent, MON whistles and a ladder is dropped in from a helicopter and our heroes are hoisted away*