Born and .... Bread

*John Robertson and Steve Sidwell return from doing Martin O'Neill's shopping trip at Asda*

Robertson: Och it was murder at Asda boss, I'm not going on Sunday afternoon again.

MON: Steve behave himself did he?

Robertson: Well y'know the lad he was a tad aggressive and he wouldn't sit still in the trolley.

*Sidwell drags in the shopping from the car*

Robertson: Good lad

*Robertson goes to pat Sidwell on the head, Sidwell growls and snaps at his hand*

Robertson: anyway got your frozen peas and carrots, Birdseye Potato Waffles, fish fingers ....

*a young lad strolls into the kitchen wearing a flat cap and smoking a pipe*

Robertson: Fabien Delph, a pack of Mr.Kipling's Cherry Bakewells...

MON: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What did you just say?

Robertson: Cherry Bakewells? Like you said boss, they're your favourites.

MON: No, before that.

Robertson: Fabien Delph?

*the lad tips his flat cap*

Delph: 'ow do?

MON: Fabien Delph? I didn't ask for him?!

Robertson: yeah you did boss you said "and pick up Delph, Delph's on offer"

MON: I said pick up Elf! Elf's on offer! The Will Ferrell comedy where a man is raised by elves and sets out to find his true identity with hilarious consequences....

Delph: I remember when I t'were a lad, me gran give me a hapenny bit to buy a loaf of Hovis and....

MON: What's he on about? Take him back John.

Robertson: Boss you can't take players back.

Delph: ....after I'd been t'shops I went to t'races t'were a great time I tell thee, and then we...

MON: (Sigh!)