Match 6: Post Blackburn Rovers

*We join the lads mourning the loss to Blackburn*

MON: So .... We lost but that's OK, it's not the end of the world.

Delph: It's the end of the world!?! Aaaaaargh!

*Delph runs in a circle with his hands in the air*

MON: No I said NOT the end of the world.

Delph: Oh sorry boss.

*Delph takes a seat*

MON: We've still got a lot going for us, we're still high in the table and doing well with injuries. Our defence is still relatively stingy and Gabriel you're still liking the goals right?

Gabby: No.

*The lads all gasp in shock like a courtroom drama*

MON: What do you mean Gabriel? Why don't you like goals?

Gabby: I like goals when they win. I got a goal. We lost, so .... I don't like them anymore, I think I won't score any more this season.

MON: WHAT!?

Gabby: I think that's me done, no more goals.

MON: No more goals!? But ... But you've hit a rich vein of form scoring 5 in 5 early in the season it's not like you to start off well and have a cataclysmic drop in form when we lose .... Wait a minute, is this what you did last season?

Gabby: Yes.

MON: What?! Great where am I going to get my goals now?

*Heskey raises his hand, stands with his chest proudly puffed out*

Heskey: I shall get your goals boss!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Heskey: What?

NRC: I'm more likely to get our goals than you Emile.

Heskey: You? But the boss hates you he PM'd me on Facebook and told me so, plus even if you were picked you can't score for toffee!

NRC: Exactly!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Carew: Well boss you know what you've got to do if you want me to get you goals.

MON: John I've told you a hundred times we are not having a strippers pole installed in the dressing room for me to "perform" my team talks.

Carew: What about just "half-time honeys" on the pole then?

MON: NO pole! NO half time honeys!

*Carew folds his arms, rocks back in his chair and kicks the one in front of him*

.....Next Week ......

MON: Right John, I need you grabbing some goals.

Carew: No problem boss.

*MON spirals down the pole upside down and does the splits*

MON: Defence, keep it tight....