*We join the lads celebrating in the St.Andrews Dressing Room*
All the Lads: £$%& on the City!£$%& on the City tonight!
NRC: Ooh Ahh!
All the Lads: £$%& on the City!£$%& on the City tonight!.....
*Ashley Young hangs his shirt on a peg, the peg falls off the wall and into a strangely coloured puddle*
A.Young: God! I $£%&ing hate the sty!
*Cuellar chases a pig around the straw-floored dressing room, it has stolen his watch.*
Cuellar: Och! Ye dinnae get this even at Gretna!
*MON Enters, the Dressing Room falls silent*
MON: Ha haa! I've out foxed Big Eck again, excellent work lads!
*all the lads cheer*
MON: Especially you Emile, magnificent.
*Gabby raises his hand*
Gabby: er...... Emile didn't play boss, I played, I was the hero. Look
*Gabby re-enacts his goal celebration with token jump and thumbs pointing to his name on his shirt*
MON: Gabby! There's no "I" in team, there is however an "I" in Emile, well played Emile.
Carew: But Gabby's right, he didn't play!
MON: Gabby, John, you two need to learn that Emile is an unorthodox striker, he doesn't need to score goals he doesn't even have to play, that's not what his game's about.
*Heskey nods in agreement whilst Gabby and Carew look at each other confused*
Gabby: What IS his game about boss?
MON: Look nevermind what his game is about you can't just judge a striker on his goals, appearances or performances .... Hang on, who's that?
*MON points to the crowd where the defenders are massed*
Dunne: I'm Richard Dunne bass, y'know " The Dunne", "Dunney", the "Dunney monster"....
MON: Not you, him
Collins: It's me James Collins, not to be confused with the other Collins, I think it's Danny Collins who moved to Stoke. I get that all the time I think it's because we both ...
MON: no no no, him
Warnock: Warnock?
MON: No the one in the outdated Villa kit, with dodgy facial hair and plaster cast.
Ridgewell: It's me, Liam Ridgewell.
MON: What're you doing here?
Ridgewell: Well to be honest I was hoping with all these new defenders you wouldn't notice me and you'd save me from this wretched club. I $£%&ing hate the sty
MON: No dice. Defenders, seize him.
*Dunne and Collins promptly drag a crying Ridgewell toward the door*
Dunne: Sorry dere boss, I t'ought he was one of us, I'd never seen any of the lads before y'know.
MON: Yes well, now I don't usually do this but as I'm so happy with your performance and clean sheet we're going to have a sing-a-long.
*All the lads cheer*
MON: Can you hear the City sing?
*MON points to Gabby*
Gabby: Nooooooooo!
*MON points to Friedel*
Friedel: Nooooooo!
*Sidwell emerges from the shower drying his ear with his towel, MON points to him*
Sidwell: I can't hear a £$%&ing thing!
*The lads cheer*
Sidwell: No seriously, the shower was making this weird high pitched noise and I'm not sure it was even water coming out. I $£%&ing hate the sty.
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