A Hospital Visit

*We join the lads visiting a recovering Curtis Davies in hospital*

Davies: Hi guys, great to see you. Really missed you.

NRC: Missed you too Curt, been terrible without you ..... Except for the clean sheet of course.

Davies: Clean .... Sheet?

NRC: Yeah you know "clean sheet".

*Curtis shakes his head confused*

NRC: Y'know you sometimes used to get them when you played with Martin Laursen? When you don't let the opposition score any goals?

Davies: Oh yeah, I remember those.

NRC: Anyway, I got you something.

*Curtis sits up, NRC hands him some grapes*

Davies: Gee, thanks NRC, I don't usually eat grapes, I mean I would never buy them but I guess they're what you always get when you're in hospital so thanks.

*Richard Dunne and James Collins stroll in eyeing up the room*

Dunne: Hello dere Curtis.

Collins: Hi Curtis.

*Dunne and Collins throw bunches of grapes at Curtis, they hit him in the face and shoulder respectively.

Davies: Ow! Guys I can't catch, remember? Shoulder operation.

Collins: Oh yeah, Silly us eh Dunney?

Dunne: Yeah silly us, so .... Any idea how long you'll be out dere lad?

Davies: About 4 months ..... OW! James can you please stop squeezing my shoulder.

Collins: Which shouder? This shoulder?

Davies: Ow! Yes, that shoulder, the one I've just had an operation on.

Dunne: Oh Curtis, almost forgot, pinch, punch first of the month.

*Dunne pinches and punches Davies' shoulder*

Davies: Ow! What're you on about Rich?! It's the 17th!

Dunne: Yeah well, I was busy signing on the first y'know and....

Davies: If I didn't know any better I'd say you pair are trying to worsen my condition or at least hamper my recovery.

*Collins puts a firm hand on Curtis' shoulder shaking him*

Collins: Get a hold of yourself man, you're delusional, it must be the painkillers.

Davies: Ow! I'm not any painkillers, stop yanking my shoulder!

*Cuellar arrives holding out a birthday cake*

Cuellar: Happy 30th Curtis!

Davies: What!? My birthday's in March and I'm only 24!

Dunne: Time for the bumps!

*Dunne, Collins and Cuellar approach, MON bursts in the door, the defenders all "look innocent")

MON: Curtis, terrible news, I've just spoken with the doctors its worse than they thought. You won't be able to hold an interview for 3 weeks.

*Curtis throws off his covers gets out of bed and falls to his knees, hands raised*

Davis: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

MON: It's not too bad though we've got Steve Sidwell on double interview duty.

*Dunne, Collins, Cuellar and NRC all join Curtis on their knees*

All the lads: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!