Saturday 26 June 2010

*World Cup* - Post Slovenia

*We join the lads celebrating their 1-0 victory over Slovenia and progressing into the final 16, Defoe enters*

All the lads: Whoooo!!! Yeah!!! Jermaine!!! What a finish!

Defoe: It's what I'm all about guys.

*Heskey is sat with his arms folded and frowning*

Heskey: I would've put that away.

*The dressing room erupts with laughter*

Heskey: What? I would have!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter again*

Heskey: I can score goals!

*The dressing room erupts with laughter once more*

Heskey: I can! I just prefer to make the other players on my team shine.

Gerrard: Whatever Emile, everyone knows you couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo.

Heskey: How many times do I have to tell everyone, it was the quickest cow in the field and my hands were wet, I didn't have a proper grip on the ....

*Terry enters*

All the lads: John!! What a lion!

Terry: Thanks guys.

Pearce: You were great John, slide tackling with your head? Inspired. I have to say you were playing out there like your life depended on it.

*Terry casts a fearful glance over to Capello who is making a slow "cut throat" gesture at him.*

Terry: Yeah .... English pride and all that....

*The lads follow Terry's gaze to Capello who has quickly changed his face to an uncomfortable, wide, teeth-baring smile*

Pearce: Brilliant stuff eh Mr.Capello? Any words for the lads?

Capello: ATTACK, ATTACCO!!! PUSH UP!!!! PRONTO!!! PRONTO!!!!!

*Capello is gesturing wildly*

Pearce: ....Erm.... Boss the match is finished.

Capello: MAN ON!!!!! MOVE, MOVE, MOSSA, VELOCE!!!

*Capello is making a pushing motion with both hands*

Pearce: .... Um ... Yeah ... He said "Great work guys".

Capello: ATTACCO!!!

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