*we join the lads with their heads hung after their disappointing goaless draw with Algeria, except for Rooney and Heskey who are sporting tired but wide grins. Capello enters*
Heskey & Rooney: Happy birthday Mr.Capello!!
*They step forward with an obviously homemade, eyesore of a cake*
Capello: Happy bir......!?!
*Capello launches the cake at the wall, it splats and slides halfway down*
Rooney: We spent all night baking that!? We were shattered ....
*Capello springs into a long-lasting, yelling rant. Lampard leans and whispers to Gerrard*
Lampard: I think he's run out of Italian swear words, he's on to just brand names now.
Capello: Peroni!? Bontempi!? Maserati!? Kappa!? ..... Intruder!!!
Gerrard: What's "intruder" make?
*Capello is pointing, visibly shaken*
Capello: No, no intruder, call the security!
*The players all turn to the trespasser, stunned*
Dawson: Who ... Me? It's me, Michael Dawson. Y'know "Daws"
All the Lads: Security! Security!
Dawson: C'mon, Aaron, Ledley Help me out!
*Lennon continues running aimlessly around the dressing room as he has since arriving in South Africa, King shrugs and continues sifting through his suitcase trying to find his favourite detachable leg. Security arrive*
Head Security Guard: You have a problem ... Oh I see, this man with no discernable footballing talent, he has intruded?
*The guard is sneering at Dawson*
Dawson: What!? I'm Michael Dawson.
Head Security Guard: I know who you are. Take him away.
*Dawson is bundled out by security, the lads cheer. Capello's anger returns.*
Capello: Now players what was it I say we need to win these matches!?
*The players look down at the ground in silence like embarrassed school children*
Rooney: ..... Cake?
*Capello puts his face into his hand and mutters under his breath then returns composed*
Capello: Cake!? ......Mio Dio .... Goal! I say "GOAL"!
*Half of the lads in the dressing room peel away in celebration. Crouch is doing the robot, Gerrard has slid on his knees, Rooney has cartwheeled, Heskey is stood with a confused look on his face whilst scratching his head*
Capello: Fiat!
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