Robbie Keane Day

*We join the lads in the Dressing Room at a loss as to why MON has called them all to gather there, MON enters carrying a large box.*

MON: Hey lads! Thanks for coming.

*Delfouneso yawns and stretches*

MON: Heavens above Nathan have you just got up!? It's 3 in the afternoon!

Delfouneso: Yeah boss, I was up all night playing COD with Marc.

*Albrighton is rubbing his bleary eyes whilst nodding in agreement*

MON: You were playing .... You .... You didn't kill anyone did you?

Delfouneso: Yeah loads.

*Albrighton and Delfouneso Hi-five each other as MON's face drains of all colour and he looks on horrified*

MON: Nathan, Marc, you can't .... You can't just kill people, I know you're young and you earn fortunes but you can't play God!

Delfouneso: COD boss COD.

MON: Cod!? What is this more of your street slang? Is this the mark of death!?

Young: Boss ... Why are we here?

MON: Oh Yes ...

*MON smiles widely again*

MON: It's Robbie Keane Day everyone!

Gabby: Yay!

Beye: Robbie Keane Day? What is this "Robbie Keane Day"?

MON: Who are you!?

Beye: Habib Beye ... Right back? ...

*MON looks non the wiser*

Beye: You bought me in the middle of the last transfer window?

MON: Right Back? In the MIDDLE of the window? That doesn't sound like me ..... But as it's a celebration I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Warnock: So? .... Robbie Keane Day?

Gabby: Yay!

MON: Yes, every year Aston Villa are linked with Robbie Keane, we celebrate this day as Robbie Keane Day ....here.

*MON opens the box, there is a paper Robbie Keane Mask for each player*

Gabby: Yeah, it dates back to when William McGregor set up the football league and first tried to get Robbie Keane for Villa.

Young: But Robbie Keane wasn't born, that was 100 years ago.

Gabby: Yeah, that was the stumbling block for those first few seasons.

*MON holds up a copy of "Ye Olde Daily Mail" A.Young reads the sports headlines*

Young: "Aston Villa name unborn striker messiah"? Boss most of this seems to be the inane ramblings of a mad man.

MON: Yes, not much has changed.

*MON hands a copy of a modern Daily Mail linking Robbie Keane to Villa*

Young: Oh yeah.

*Downing is wearing his Robbie Keane mask*

Downing: Hey mon, I is Robbie Keane, I tink I'm gonna score some goals mon.

*The lads look disturbed by Downing*

Dunne(through his Robbie Keane mask): Stewart, Robbie Keane's Irish.

Downing: Me know mon.

A.Young(through his Robbie Keane mask): Then why the cringeworthy jamaican accent?

Downing: Wha? Dis is Irish mon.

Gabby(through his Robbie Keane mask): You're ruining Robbie Keane Day!

Downing: Chill out mon, relax, everyting is Irie.

*Gabby tears off Downing's mask*

Downing: Aww man.

*Delfouneso whispers to Albrighton*

Delfouneso(through his Robbie Keane mask): I say we kill Stewart. Tonight.

*Heskey bursts through the door, he's wearing a mask*

Heskey: Hey everyone! Sorry I'm late, look I made a mask! Happy Robbie Earle day! I've got a "Crazy Gang" dance and every....

*Heskey looks around to see all the "Robbie Keanes" staring at him*

Heskey: Dang!

*Heskey hangs his smiling Robbie Earle masked head and leaves the dressing room*