It's a Shorey Thing

They say it wasn't personal terms the deal for Shorey fell through on ... I have an idea what it was.


*Shorey is called to MON's office for a meeting*

Shorey: Hi boss, you said you had something urgent to .... Belhadj? Kaboul? Paul Hart?! What're they doing here?

MON: They're here to *ahem!* assist you in your move to Portsmouth.

Shorey: Portsmouth!?

MON: Yes....Portsmouth.

Shorey: But I don't want to go to Portsmouth, I love Aston Villa .... look.

*Shorey lifts his shirt to reveal a Villa badge tattoo that covers near enough his whole back*

Shorey: I also have a comical car sticker in my window which has a man wearing a Villa shirt and no trousers weeing on a Birmingham City shirt.

MON: Yes, yes I know Nicky but ....

Shorey: He has a thumb up and a big smile on his face, he's loving degrading that shirt by urinating on it he is.

MON: Look Nicolas, I realise ....

*Shorey flips into a bezerker rage*

Shorey: Don't call me Nicolas!!

MON: .... Oh no .....

*Shorey leaps at Kaboul biting his cheek*

Kaboul: Aaaaaarrrrggghhhh! He bit me!!!

*As Kaboul rolls on the ground, Nicky stands, gazes at Belhadj like a man possessed and unleashes a flurry of wild punches*

Belhadj: Aiiiieeeee! My nose, me beautiful nose she is broken along with my teeth and my hair!

*Paul Hart flees for the door*

Hart: You said nothing of him being crazy Martin! Pompey, retreat!

*Belhadj, Kaboul and Hart all run, limp and hobble out of the office*

MON: Wait, wait! It's only when you call him Nicolas.

Shorey: DON'T. CALL. ME. NICOLAS!!!