*We rejoin an outraged MON*
MON: They laugh at me! Me Martin O'Neill!!
Taylor: They do, don't they? Anyway I must be off. You will be visited by two other ghosts .... ghosts .... ghosts.
*Taylor's Voice fades*
MON: Well.... Are you going to leave?
Taylor: I've disappeared.
MON: You just crouched behind my sofa!
Taylor: Fine
*Taylor stands and walks out the front door*
MON: Moyes, Wenger, Pah! What do they know? Did either of them win the European Cup? No, I did.
*a loud voice booms from the dining room*
Loud Voice: Stop talking to yourself and get in 'ere
*MON apprehensivley approaches*
MON: Ron Atkinson!?
Atkinson: Yes, I am the ghost of Deadlines present.
MON: You must be 15 ft tall!?
Atkinson: Of course I am, why d'ya think they call me Big Ron?
MON: I just figured it was because you're obese. I know why they called you Ra...
Atkinson: Silence!
MON: Wait a minute, "present"? You're not even around anymore!
Atkinson: I was on Wife Swap the other week.
MON: Didn't watch it.
Atkinson: With Tessa Sanderson?
MON: Oh, I think I may have seen the advert for it.
Atkinson: Anyway step on the magical sheepskin jacket, we're going for a journey.
*MON steps onto a sprawled out Sheepskin jacket which takes off like a magic carpet towards it's destination*
MON: Where is this place !?
Atkinson: It's White Hart Lane, look...
*MON peers through the windows*
MON: It's Harry Redknapp, Daniel Levy and their new signings.
Atkinson: Yes, see how happy they are?
MON: They're playing Twister, look and Harry's face, his grin nearly lifts his cheeks!
Atkinson: Yes, Harry has bought players where he needed them, he's strengthend his squad and look.
*Atkinson points to the Sun paper*
MON: Jordan is pregnant, isn't pregnant, has a boyfriend, is getting married, is splitting up ..
Atkinson: The sports pages!
MON: Spurs?! Joint first?
Atkinson: It could be their year.
MON: What have I done!?
Atkinson: Now observe....
*MON and Ron fly to an alternate destination*
MON: Where am I .... Why it's that lad from this very morn!
*The lad MON spoke to is being bullied at school*
Man Utd Bully: HA! James Collins!? I've never even heard of him, that means he's rubbish!
Lad: No, I trust in Martin if he says he's good, he's good.
Chelsea Bully: Yeah like Mufasa Salif Dao! Ha ha ha!
Lad: it's Moustafa Salifou!
BCFC Bully: Ha even big 'eck is finding foreign gems, your days of 2nd City domination are over, we're rich now!
Lad: Nooooo!
*The lad runs away crying*
MON: It's all my fault children at school and adults at work up and down the country are crying on deadline day .... Because of me.
Atkinson: Yes, Martin in the transfer market you're what's known as a ****ing lazy ....
MON: Don't say it Ron, I now understand ... I know now what I must do.
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