Plane to Ukraine

*We join an excited Gabby sitting next to James Milner on the plane to the Ukraine.*

Gabby: So who's we playin' then lads?

Milner: Ukraine.

Gabby: No need for insults Jim, I just don't know who we're playing.

Milner: We're playing Ukraine.

Gabby: I know we're playing but who? And please I'm sensitive.

Milner: No not You-Crane, Ukraine, thats the team man.

Gabby: Oh....

*Gabby looks scared*

Milner: Gabby?

Gabby: Yeah?

Milner: What's wrong like?

Gabby: Are they like JCBs?

Milner: Noor, Gabby how could JCBs play football man?

Gabby: well in Bob the Builder they ....

Milner: Gabby, Bob the Builder's not real.

*Gabby's world looks shattered*

Gabby: and Transformers?

Milner: Noor, Look a fair few years ago tha Soviet Union broke up ...

Gabby: Like Katie and Peter.

Milner: Kind of but there was less media coverage. Anywee they split into several meaningless countries with odd, forgettable names.

Gabby: Will they make a comeback tour, like Take That?

Milner: What? Comeba...They're countries man!

Gabby: So not JCBs

Milner: Noor!

Gabby: But they play football.

Milner: Yes.

Gabby: Jim?

Milner: Yes?

Gabby: Will Gary Barlow be playing for them? I like Gary Barlow.

Milner: (sigh)