Zat for Sale!?

We join MON returning to his office after a thrilling game of backgammon with James Nesbitt.

*MON sings to himself as he approaches his office door*

MON: ...will it ever stop? Yo, I don't know turn out the lights and I'll glow to the extreme I rock the mic like a .... Zatiyah!?!?

*MON opens the door to find Zat Knight in full Villa Kit, floods of tears holding a rolled up copy of The Sun*

Knight: Don't think I can't feel that there's something wrong

*pointing to his Birmingham City link in the sports pages*

MON: Zat what the ...

Knight: You've been the sweetest part of my life so long

MON: Look lad...

Knight: I look in your eyes, there's a distant light and you and I know there'll be a storm tonight

MON: Well I'd not checked the weather but...

Knight: This is getting serious

*Curtis Davies sticks his head round the door*

Davies: this is serious

Knight: Are you thinking 'bout you or us?

MON: Look, I..

*Zat places a finger on MONs lips*

Knight: Don't say what you're about to say

*Curtis Davies sticks his head round the door*

Davies: No, no, no, no

Knight: Look back before you leave my life

*Curtis Davies sticks his head round the door*

Davies: Don't leave his life

Knight: Be sure before you close that door, before you roll those dice. Martin think twice ...