BBQ

We re-join the lads at their annual Barbeque at Bodymoor Heath.

Shorey: .... I believe in honesty, said you don't know a thing about me

Heskey: Well it's a question of faith. Take it home Nicholas.

*Shorey ends the song with a lengthy clarinet solo.*

*The BBQ applauds*

MON: I tell you what lads if there's a better Lighthouse Family cover band that plays the lute and clarinet I'm yet to hear them.

Heskey: Many thanks Martin, forsooth tis the very least we can do to entertain our brethren of the pitch.

*A.Young rolls his eyes*

MON: Right we're all set, got the beer, got the meat. Moustapha after your perfomances over the season I think you deserve the honour of tending the grill.

Salifou: Honest boss? I love barbeques and I do cook a mean ...

MON: Of course not, you're mopping up the Away end of Villa Park.

*MON holds out a mop to Salifou*

*The BBQ erupts with Laughter*

Salifou: But boss there were buckets of Geordie tears it could take me all day, I'll miss the barbeque.

MON: Ah you're probably right, it'd probably take even two men all day. Isaiah grab the bucket and help Moustapha

*The BBQ erupts with Laughter*

Osbourne: But boss I ..

MON: and where's your tracksuit jacket?

Osbourne: But boss it's 25 degrees.

MON: What have I told you about that jacket?

Osbourne: "you can only take it off if your number's on the board"

MON: Is your number on the board Isaiah?

Osbourne: What board? There's not even a board up.

MON: Exactly! Now get on your jacket and start mopping.

Later ...

MON: Did I ever tell you all about the time I won the European Cup

*The BBQ groans*

MON: I'll take that as a no, anyway I was superb, 1980 it was, I'd missed the previous final through injury but this year I was....

Gabby: Boss, boss my sausage is burning boss.

MON: Well Gabriel I've told you a million times if you're going to mess around with all these girls you're bound to...

Gabby: No I mean my sausage boss

*pointing at BBQ grill*

*The BBQ erupts with Laughter*