Middlesbrough Post-Match

Returning to the dressing room from the 1-1 draw.

Cuellar: That was a toap notch effort lad, take a bow son, take a bow.

*Carew smiles politely, nods and looks at Cuellar's interpreter blankly*

Cuellar's Interpreter: Nice goal

Carew: Oh Right. Thanks.

*MON storms into the dressing room enraged*

MON: What do you call that? (pointing) Where were you first half !?!

NRC: I was on the bench boss?

MON: What?

NRC: I was a sub, you subbed me on 70 minutes in.

MON: Sub? That doesn't sound like something I'd do, 30 laps at training.

NRC:...But ...

MON: 40 laps! Gabby.

Gabby:....

MON: Gabby!

Gabby:....

MON: GABBY!

Gabby:....

MON: (sighs) James you're a rubbish right back

*Milner pulls out his earphones the faint sound of Paul Gascoigne's "Fog on the Tyne" can be heard*

Milner: I toold ye man, I doon't pleey right back like. Hows aboot Heskey, he did abolutely nowt like.

MON: Don't cha be blaming me Emile, he wasn't even playing.

Heskey: Yes I was boss.

MON: WHAT?!

Gabby: Yes Boss?

*O'Neill's rant is cut short by the sounds of a lute*

MON: Who's that making a racket

*Heskey prances to the front of the crowd*

Heskey: Tis I Martin, forsooth.

MON: Eh? Why are you talking like that? why are you dressed like that?

Heskey: Tis how I've talked for many moons. My attire is due to my part in BBC's thrilling serial adaptation of Robin Hood.