*We join the lads celebrating victory over Wigan, MON is pelvic thrusting with gusto at the front of the room*
MON: Oh Yeah! A league win in March! How do you like me now!? In your face Robbo, and you said we'd never win in March!
Robertson: Martin, I said no such....
MON: In your face! Now James where are you? What a cracking goal, brilliant, world class, genius....
Milner: Well thanks boss, I just found the space, picked me spot and hit it like.
MON: What? I'm not talking to you, where is he? Where's James McCarthy the lovely man?
Dunne: He doesn't play for us bass, he's a Wigan man.
MON: Come again? But he hammered it home beautifully.
Collin: Yeah, own goal, happens to the best of us, well the best of us and James McCarthy.
*The Dressing Room erupts with laughter*
MON: Wigan eh...?
*MON flips through a notepad with 'SUMMER' written on the front, he comes to a page titled 'GOAL PROBLEM?' underneath it he writes 'JAMES MCCARTHY - WIGAN (better even than Emile?)'
MON: ..... and British is he?
Dunne: Aye Boss, he was born in Scotland.
MON: Excellent.
*MON underlines his name on the notepad*
Dunne: But he plays for Ireland.
MON: Ah, Double british!
*MON underlines his name again*
MON: Which Ireland? The better one?
Dunne: Yeah bass.
MON: Ah from my neck of the woods eh? Great stuff it's good to see the motherland producing such talent.
Dunne: Wait.... I thought you meant....
*Fabian Delph interrupts Dunne, tugging at his shirt*
Delph: Great game Mr.Dunne sir.
Dunne: Thanks bud!
Delph: Yellow card ..... Nice.
Dunne: It's not like I enjoy getting cards.
*Delph raises an eyebrow at Dunne*
Dunne: 'right, maybe I do a bit.
*Dunne and Delph discuss their all time favourite bookings and dismissals*
Delph: ....and I was like 'Pow!' and he was like 'My spleen! My beautiful spleen!' then the ref was like 'you, Delph, off' and I was like 'What!? I didn't even see him there!' then the ref was all 'You're still standing on him!'
MON: So.... No goals again John?
*Carew barely raises his eybrows above the book he's reading*
Carew: Huh?
MON: Goals?
Carew: Oh, Nah not today.
MON: I....um.... OK.
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