Match 27: Stoke City

*We join the lads preparing for their match against Stoke City*

MON: Right lads we're going to need to defend like lions here I ..... Hang on, where are all the defenders?

*The lads look all around, there are no defenders to be seen, the song 'Blame it on the Boogie' can be heard approaching the dressing room from the hall.*

MON: What the devil?

*The door bursts open and Luke Young, James Collins, Richard Dunne and Stephen Warnock stride in, Collins is holding a large portable radio*

L.Young: Don't you blame it on the sunshine...

Collins: Don't blame it on the moonlight....

Dunne: We're flying without wings .... I mean ... Damn it!...

Warnock: Blame it on the boogie!

*Delph stands*

Delph: I just can't control my feet!

*Delph boots Sidwell in the shins, Sidwell screams loudly.*

Warnock: Hey nice catching the lyrics there Fabian.

Delph: What lyrics?

MON: Enough of this tomfoolery! James switch that ghetto blaster off at once.

Collins: My what boss?

*The dressing room erupts with laughter as Collins turns off the stereo*

MON: Now what is all this? Why are you four dressed as the Jackson 5!?

*MON eyes the defenders from their flares to their unfeasibly large afros, Collins is combing out his ginger mane*

Collins: You said we'd have to match Rory Delap's 'fro boss.

MON: Yes I said you have to match Delap's throw.

*the defender's point to their ''fros'*

MON: His LONG throw!

Warnock: Our 'fros are pretty long.

*MON is now seething*

MON: No! His....

*Carlos Cuellar strolls in*

Cuellar: Och, sorry I'm late boss.

MON: Carlos I thought better of you, joining this rabble and dressing as a member of the Jackson 5 and with that ridiculous hair!

Cuellar: Dressing as who? This is what I wear every week?