Match 17: Sunderland

*MON is jigging at the front of the dressing room Downing leans into Milner*

Downing (whispering): Does he usually jig before a match like?

Milner: Noor, he's still celebrating tha Man United match man.

MON (wiping the sweat from his brow): Phew, OK lads before I start our team talk I have a message from legendary ex-Villa manager Ron Atkinson.

Delph: Mr.Bean managed Villa?

Heskey: No, that's Rowan Atkinson.

Delph: Is he funny like Mr.Bean?

Heskey: More like Bernard Manning.

*MON opens the envelope and begins reading the message from Big Ron*

MON: "Well done boys. Congratulations on stuffing United"

*The lads look at each other proudly*

MON:"I told them sacking me for Fergie would be a mistake and look at them now! I see you have Sunderland next match, some of you may be fearful of Darren Bent, don't be, he's what I'd call ....."

*MON goes pale, screws up the message and tosses it over his shoulder.*

MON: Anyway... Who's ready to beat Sunderland!?

*The lads all cheer, Ashley Young raises his hand*

MON: Ashley?

A.Young: Boss don't we have the annoying tendancy to score wins against big teams then capitulate in matches you'd expect us to win like this one by approaching with an over confident, some would say arrogant attitude?

MON: Nonsense, Ashley we'll beat Sunderland, beat them good, we're far better than them, they don't stand a chance! I expect 20% effort and a result out there today lads!

*The lads all cheer again, Young sits back in his chair arms folded as the lads knock his head with their pre-emptive celebrations, Carew is drinking champagne from a bottle, Dunne and Cuellar are popping party popper streamers everywhere. Heskey is practicing over-zealous goal celebrations in the middle of the room and Gabby is limboing under a stick held by Downing and Milner*