*We join the lads rejoicing their 5-1 victory over Bolton*
All the Lads: Easy! Easy! Easy!
MON: You shut up!
*The dressing room erupts with laughter*
MON: Alright lads, alright lets calm down. You played some great stuff out there. Emile, Stilyan those were the best performances in villa shirts I've seen since I signed you.
Petrov: But I wasn't playing boss.
Heskey: Me either, and I wasn't wearing a Villa shirt, you made me wear this Leicester one.
*Heskey holds up some of the tattered cloth from the ten year old faded Leicester shirt that is at least two sizes too small*
Heskey: seriously boss, I can't breath.
MON: well you should of thought of that before you got rubbish. Now Richard, Richard where are you?
*Dunne grins and raises his hand*
Dunne: Here bass.
MON: Richard, what are you playing at? Where was your goal?
Dunne: Well y'know I'm a defender bass, and I t'ought 5 goals was enough ....
MON: That's what you "t'ought" was it? Well you're "tinking" doesn't get me points in my fantasy team Richard, look, can you see "Thinking: 5 points" there?
*Dunne hangs his head*
Dunne: No bass, sorry bass.
MON: No Richard I'm sorry, and John, two assists and a goal? What's that all about!?
Carew: Are you .... angry boss?
MON: Yes I'm angry, you're only on my fantasy team bench, you're not even first priority!
Carew: But you said on your TV interview...
MON: Never mind what I said on my TV interview! I need you consistent, consistently bad unless Bent and Defoe are injured.
Carew: But you said you "didn't want Defoe or Bent anyway" and that "they're lazy good for nothings happy to sit on the bench and won't score in a first team".
MON: You're twisting my words.
Carew: You have those exact words printed on the t-shirt you're wearing!
*MON zips up his jacket*
MON: No I don't.
Carew: Yes you do, unzip your jacket.
MON: I'm not one of you're cheap floosies John, I shan't undress at your say so!
NRC (whispers to A.Young): looks like contretemps.
MON: What was that Nigel!?
*Heskey collapses in a heap, the celebration continues*
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