Match 10: Post Everton

*The lads mull over their draw against Everton*

MON: Well lads, there were good points and bad points. Big John scored, he's really sent me a message.

*Carew pumps his fists*

Carew: Yes!

MON: ...That he's far better as a substitute.

*the dressing room erupts with laughter, Carew hangs his head*

MON: Now Carlos you got sent off which on the face is of it is bad.

Cuellar: I dinnae ken wha' happened cap'tain.

MON: Well in my day you could decapitate someone as long as you touched the ball. As a matter of fact when I won the 79-80 European Cup final (a game I was magnificent in by the way) I'm pretty sure Viv Anderson did just that, all they got was a throw-in.

*Milner raises his hand*

MON: James?

Young: Did tha player die like boss?

MON: Die? Die!? Players were made of stronger stuff back then James, it would take more than a beheading to stop us playing in europe. Isn't that right Robbo?

*John Robertson nods*

A.Young: Didn't you miss the year before through injury boss?

MON: My leg was hanging on by a thread Ashley, I wanted to play, I even considered killing Robbo and wearing his face so they'd let me play.

*John Robertson looks horrified*

MON: I'm joking John of course and by joking I mean I tried and failed. Anyway, what was I saying? Ah yes. With Carlos suspended the right back position is now available, any volunteers?

*Luke Young and Habib Beye raise their hands eagerly*

Beye: Me, me boss, pick me!

L.Young: No boss me, choose me!

*MON gazes over the team almost as though he can't see L.Young or Beye*

MON: No-one?

Beye: MEEEEEEEE!!!!

L.Young: Boss me please!!

MON: Right, no takers then. Nigel you're up.

NRC: Aw! But boss Luke and....

MON: Hush Nigel!

NRC: But they're both full-b...

MON: Are you looking for contretemps!?