Monday 5 July 2010

*World Cup* - Post Germany

*We join the lads dejected after their 4-1 loss to Germany, Rooney enters with a large grin*

Rooney: Oh Yeah! Whooooo! Now it's just to see who we're playing, Argentina or Meh-hi-co!

*The lads are confused as Rooney puts a hand out for hi-fives from some squad members, some just look at him others apprehensively clap his hand*

Rooney: Yeah great match lads we stuffed them and .... I ... Lamps ... did you swap shirts?

Lampard: No.

*Rooney slowly looks down at his own shirt's colour.*

Rooney: Did I?

Lampard: No.

Rooney:......Crap!

Terry: What's with Jamo?

Upson: I dunno, he was doing that all match.

*David James is mouthing what appears to be instructions mixed with profanity at the three defenders*

Johnson: We can't hear you.

James: Oh, sorry, the Vuvuzelas must've messed up my hearing. Is this better?

Johnson, Terry & Upson: Yeah.

James: You're $%^*in' useless, you bunch of £$%&in' $%&s!!

*Johnson, Terry & Upson lower their heads*

James: You're alright Ashley .... For a &%$£

A.Cole: Cheers.

Capello: eh, eh eeeeh! What I tell you at half time?! We need goals!

A.Cole: Well I did my best boss I think that ...

Capello: No, no, no. Goals! Goals!

J.Cole: You didn't even bring me on at half time, I mean admittedly I was poor, but....

Capello: No. Goals!

Gerrard: Scholes didn't come with squad though boss?

Capello: Gooooals! Anyway it is too late now. England team you were terrific!

Barry: Really boss? Thanks, I mean we lost and all but it's nice to know we have your support...

*Capello pulls a confused face*

Capello: no, no no. Wait a moment.

*Capello thumbs through his English-Italian dictionary and nods*

Capello: Not terrific, Terrible! Wayne why you no score goals and win for England?

Rooney: I do more than score goals boss, I bring other players into the game and ...

Heskey: Hey!

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