*We join Emile Heskey in a dressing gown and underpants, he's playing Call of Duty on the XBox and is holding the phone between his face and his shoulder*
Heskey: Hi Boss, I can't make it to today's match. I'm snowed in.
MON: What!? This is terrible Emile!
Heskey: Yeah I know, it's a real shame. I was looking forward to playing Sam Allardyce's Blackburn in the cold and snow but alas I'm trying my best I just can't dig my way out.
TV: "Dogs! Coming right at us!"
Heskey: Die you stinking mutt!
MON: Emile!? Did you just call me a stinking mutt!?
Heskey: No..... It's a dog ........ trying to stop my digging plight.
MON: And you're trying to kill it?
Heskey: Yes? .... With the shovel, the shovel I'm digging my way out of the snow with.
MON: You show that dog who's boss Emile!
Heskey: OK boss anyway have a nice match, bye.
*Heskey hears a loud whirring outside, he opens his front door and peers out*
MON (with Megaphone): Emile grab the ladder!
*a helicopter is hovering above Heskey's head, MON has thrown down a rope ladder, Heskey climbs it and sits miserably next to MON*
Heskey: Boss really, you shouldn't have.
MON: It'll take more than an injury or avalanche to stop me fielding you Emile.
Heskey: Yeah, great, cheers.
MON: Aren't you cold?
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