Friday, 19 February 2010

F. A Cup: Post Crystal Palace

We join the lads solemn after their draw with Crystal Palace. MON enters shaking his head.*

MON: Saints preserve us, Stephen your dad is still banging on about "that" corner, tell him to give it a rest will you?

S.Warnock: Neil Warnock's not my dad boss.

MON: Yes, I probably wouldn't admit it either.

S.Warnock: But he's not, we're not even related....

MON: Yes, distance yourself I would.

S.Warnock: No, seriously....

*MON turns to the all the lads*

MON: Well lads, don't feel sorry for Crystal Palace, they were never going to match such a strong team, I mean we didn't want to go out of the F.A Cup and we certainly didn't want to congest our fixture list with a replay.

A.Young: Boss .... We did congest our fixture list with a replay.

MON: Come again?

A.Young: We only drew, it was 2-2.

MON: WHAT!? But the way Neil is going on....

A.Young: He's always like that.

MON: And the way we celebrated when Petrov scored....

*MON mimics in slow motion the little dance of delight he did on Petrov's goal*

A.Young: Yeah, I think it was relief mainly.

MON: So did ANYTHING good come of the match!?

Delph: I got a card to add to my collection boss!

*Delph opens a card wallet folder flipping through the cellophane pages filled with red and yellow cards, he slides his new yellow card into one of the pages, Sidwell peers at it impressed*

Sidwell: Oooh Nice.

Delph: Did you see when I kicked that guy? I was all like "woooooooy yah!" Then the ref was all like "Calm down Fabian, I'm putting you in my book" Then I was like "no way man, I didn't even touch him" then the air ambulance came and....

*There is a knock on the dressing room door, it opens slightly and Neil Warnock sticks his head around it*

N.Warnock: You ready Stephen? Your mum's got tea on.

S.Warnock: You're NOT. MY. DAD!

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