FA Cup 3rd Rd: Blackburn

*The lads are preparing for their FA Cup clash against Blackburn*

MON: OK lads, I myself have played in many a semi-final, they're nothing to be scared of.

*Young raises his hand*

MON: Ashley?

A.Young: Boss this is the FA Cup round three match.

MON: I think you'll find we're playing Blackburn Ashley. I'll thank you not to ....

*MON shuffles through his notes*

MON: .... So round three of the greatest ever cup competition, except the European Cup of course back when it was about proper champions, back in the days where men were men and ....

Milner: I bet cha dinnae play in tha snoor like us boss like.

MON: Snow? Snow? There was none of this undersoil heating nonsense. We played in four feet of snow, barefoot, with house bricks for balls.

Carew: Well they would be boss.

MON: No, I meant instead of footballs. The amount of long ball related deaths was phenomenal.

Friedel: Is that why we always play the long ball now?

MON: Yes (MON wipes a tear) in memory of players we lost. John Robertson took a long ball to the head in a final once, his death hit me so hard.

Robertson: I'm here Martin, I'm still alive!

MON: In our hearts John, in our hearts.

Robertson: No, I'm not dead, look I'm right here.

MON: If John was with us now he'd be so proud of what I've gone on to achieve.

Robertson: What're you talking about!? I'm stood right here. Someone tell him that I'm alive.

*Robertson looks pleadingly at the players*

Delph: I don't know ..... If Mr. Martin says you're dead how can we tell you're not?

*The players nod in agreement with Delph's logic*

Robertson: Because I'm alive! Look I'm alive!

*John Robertson does a dance at the front of the dressing room, Heskey cries into Downing's shoulder*

Heskey: It's so sad.

MON: It is Emile, it is. So go out there and win, for Robbo!

All the lads: For Robbo!