Amnesia

We join MON in his office which in this time of transfers carnage he has renamed "the battle room"

MON (on phone): Pah! I hate the waiting music for Blackburn

*The Coronation Street theme plays*

Big Sam: Ey up Martin I say Martin! 'Ow can I 'elp you!?

MON: Hang on, this is Big Sam isn't it? Not Fred Elliot.

Big Sam: Aye Lad I say aye! Fred Elliot's dead for a start!

MON: Why are you shouting down the phone like that?

Big Sam: Because I'm big!

MON: Oh, OK well anyway have you thought about the £4 million offer I tabled for Warnock? I think you'll find it's a fair ...

Big Sam: You'll have to treble it or yer can ferget it I say yer can ferget it!

MON: £12 million!?

Big Sam: Aye or yer can ferget I say yer ....

MON: Forget what?

Big Sam: Eh? What yer on about lad, Warnock I say Warnock.

MON: Who?

Big Sam: Yer know Stephen Warnock, full back, used to play for the scousers! ...

MON: Never heard of him.

Big Sam: But yer just called to ....

MON: Who are you?

Big Sam: It's me Big ...

MON: Where am I?

*MON hangs up*

Big Sam: Hello!? Martin?! Hello?!